


why isn't that enough?

by jeonginbae



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 4 AM feels, Feeling Small, hwang hyunjin - Freeform, hyunjin wants more in life but does not know what and how, i have a hyunin fic I am working on but posted this instead sorry, i really dont know what this is, i should be studying ahhhh, i usually write romance but was too sad to do so, mild depression, no drugs although sounds like it, no happy ending because sometimes there isn't one, unloved, watched normal people and I wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonginbae/pseuds/jeonginbae
Summary: hyunjin keeps trying to find an escape.
Kudos: 3





	why isn't that enough?

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this at a whopping 4am after getting halfway through normal people (good show btw) and rewatching Her (shoutout to my man Joaquin) 
> 
> hope this isn't the worst thing you have ever read
> 
> inspired by hyunjin's skz player "when the party's over"

He looks back to the big stage he was once standing on not so long ago, yet it felt like a distant memory. Looking forward, the bright lights shine towards the path leading back to reality.

The reality he wishes he could escape from for a little longer.  
Why?  
He doesn’t know. 

As he hops into the car, in goes the earphones. They drown out the silence and sorrow, two things that seem to be all-consuming these days.  
God, he can’t stand the silence and what comes with it. The silence brings his own thoughts, which he has had enough of.  
Drowning from his own thoughts, those little voices inside his head telling him he is not trying hard enough, that he could be doing better but he isn’t.  
That night he lies awake, staring at the blank ceiling, unable to come down from the high he gets from performing. The excitement that runs through his body when all the pain and suffering seems worth it for such a short amount of time. 

He knows that every day can’t be a stage, but what if it was? Maybe then everyday he would feel alive, and maybe just maybelife would seem worth living. He knows that everyone else seems to be able to have a worth life living, whether that be life itself or something in it to keep them going. Hyunjin thinks the stages are the only thing keeping him going. 

Days past, and that reality he wishes he could escape? Is closer than he wants it to be. Those voices eventually die down a bit and the days are filled with schedules, and work.  
Work that will occupy most of his time while he agonizing over the next performance. The next time he can feel alive 

He can’t wait until the next stage. The silence is unbearable.  
He starts to do everything he can to fill it. Books, music,movies, tv shows anything to escape for a while, yet nothing seems to last so long.Short-term solutions, is all they are. Eventually, he has to turn off the music, the books and movies come to an end, and the tv show starts to get boring.  
It is not like anyone else is around either. Everyone has got their own lives, and their own schedules .Schedules that Hyunjin does not seem to fit into .  
But that shouldn’t matter right? He has a good life filled with hopes and dreams that he can achieve, he has a pretty loving family,he has friends who are distant but they are still there.  
Why isn’t that enough?

**Author's Note:**

> idek why I posted this 
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated ;P


End file.
